“Far too many people are looking for the right person, instead of trying to be the right person.” Marriage is always made in heaven and fulfilled on earth. Marriage is the one task that tests your patience and stability. It puts you through all kinds of ‘life experiences’ that have great potential to purify your soul.
“If you wish to enjoy a happy married life when both husband and wife must be deeply devoted and dedicated to one another. Their feelings of mutual love and trust must be so intense that any sense of separation and difference, between the husband and the wife, is completely obliterated.”
It is very important that the partners in a marriage understand the true aspect of it. Marriage is an acceptance of one’s willingness to do everything for the other to be happy and without expecting anything in return.
This is something which is gained by experience and not by reading the books or by finding quick solutions through astrology or numerology on google search.
I don’t think any book or google search can give complete knowledge on a successful marriage or love life, as every individual is different and the challenges a couple has to face in marriage also varies. It is difficult to cover all the problems faced by couples in a single book. A book or google search on astrology sites can give some tips and tricks on the author’s individual experience,
Every married couple has to go through the journey to evolve as a happily married couple. It depends on their wisdom on how they handle their relationship and emerge as the happy couple.
Astrology, as far as marriage is concerned, nowadays seems important for many couples due to the fear of incompatibility in terms of astrology or horoscope matching. The entire charade of horoscope matching exists only for arranged marriages! It is so because, when two strangers are to come together, you need to make sure that they’ll be able to live together. You need to make sure that you’re not locking up a lion and a deer in the same room! But in case of a love marriage, a Lion will never on its own fall for a deer.
In astrology, the very fact that love arises is proof that the two horoscopes are matching! No other analysis is important. It is for this reason that love marriage in Vedic religion is not bound by any tradition or checks. Think about it, if fortune is the consequence of the previous action, how love can be an independent entity. The very fact that two people mutually fall in love for each other is enough justification of compatibility to let them get married. If there are issues regarding child-birth, health issues can take care of it. Other remedies can be suggested.
Traditionally, match-making and the entire use of astrology for compatibility has been used only and only in the case where you are making two unknown people spend life together. If there is already love, all rituals become pointless.
However, for love marriage, horoscope matching may not matter! If the couple decides to be a couple, they’re a couple from then and there!
The royal family in earlier days rarely got horoscopes matched. It was always a Swayamvar (meaning in English is FUNCTION OF CHOOSING HUSBAND) and obviously, you would not invite Personages based on compatibility. Since it was a political decision where the relationship between the couple would be to the bare minimum, compatibility was not required. In case of love marriage, astrology isn’t required because the very fact that you have mutual feelings for each other is indicative of love.
The only thing is, compatibility issues of your horoscope would come into the picture the day love gets kicked out of the equation. If you’re really in love, the entire life would be blissful. If it is attachment and gets less with time, problems would crop up!
The only thing to check for love marriage is, whether you’re being fooled by an unfaithful or casual, or uninterested partner. Always, love marriages don’t fail because of horoscopes, but because one of the partners ignoring others needs or point of view when love gets kicked out of the equation.
“There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.”
If you even think of giving astrology preference over your love, you should stop calling it to love in the first place.
Did Ram and Sita go to an astrologer before getting married? Or did Lord Krishna married Rukmini after visiting an astrologer?
If horoscope matching decides the success of marriage, then at least in India divorce rate should be almost negligible (compared to western track record still we are better in position). But many couples managing their marriage life with a broken heart even though their horoscope matches with more than average number.
Some peoples ask that they have seen marriages with 36 gunas ( marks ) matching out of 36 that don’t go well. To give you a background 36/36 gunas is extremely rare and considered as the best match.
They also say that they have seen one such marriage to be pretty unhappy. The couple cannot separate, so are forced to stay together and hence nobody is happy. At the same time, couples that got into love marriages are happier. Obviously, when falling into love, the couples would not have asked for “kundali” & opinion from astrologers.
So to sum it up, it’s all about the understanding between the couple i.e love for each other. If that is strong, life will be good.
Marriage is an art which requires an immense amount of understanding, patience, commitment, trusty, respect to excel in it.
Understanding
I cannot emphasise this enough. Understanding each other & being mature about each other’s needs is critical. No matter how well you connect, when two different individuals come together, there will always be some friction. Understanding is the lubricant that helps ease these friction points.
Patience’ — usually it means that not every day will be happily ever after. Once you are married it doesn’t matter how you got married. It only matters how much you both can invest in to that. Emotionally, affectionately, passionately, with tremendous patience and understanding.
Commitment. Not just saying that one will stay in a relationship but to take responsibility or ownership for problems in the relationship. A commitment is a promise to be responsible and hard-working. And hard-working includes taking responsibility for one’s actions – being able to listen to your partners’ complaints non-defensively, as likely your partner just wants to make the relationship better.
This can be achieved only by your own interpretation regarding the issues or various factors involved in your life.
Trust
Hands down this are the first tip. Only when you trust someone, you can include them in your inner boundary of life. However, along with trusting your partner, make sure you are trustworthy as well.
Respect
This is essential to build the bond between you and your partner. You married someone to become your companion, your other half. It is obvious that you should respect your partner when you think that they are your soulmate and not just wife or husband.
As days pass by, the couple gains this knowledge by numerous trial and error methods applied while sorting out the issues.
Now you should understand entire problems. We get lots and lots of questions around this nowadays. People even in modern times are so superstitious that they leave important life decisions also on astrology.
Look, the Compatibility system is different from earlier it was. So, I think it’s best not to rely on that. Even though if you believe on astrology much more, I will suggest you visit some Guru or good astrologer and get some Upay (rectification) done, if you both partners are not feeling comfortable with each other. All the best. We have not seen from above examples too many cases of divorce just because one of them was Manglik, or not having matched horoscopes for marriage, so don’t worry about all that.
I’m no relationship expert but from what I know, only one thing is important: become best friends.
All other things will fall into place because you love, trust and understand your best friend more than anyone else. This is probably the only secret to a happy and successful married life.
“Friendship is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there, and they have to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don’t have trust, the friendship will crumble.”
